"If the human race wants to go to hell in a basket, technology can help it get there by jet."

"The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late."

"A program is never less than 90% complete, and never more than 95% complete."

"I’ve noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS."

"I am sometimes something of a lazy person, so when I end up spending a lot of time using something myself — as I did with Google in the earliest of days, I knew it was a big deal."

"Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will its most harmful error be discovered."

"My computer must be broken: whenever I ask a wrong question, it gives a wrong answer."

"That’s what’s cool about working with computers. They don’t argue, they remember everything, and they don’t drink all your beer."

"If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0."

"If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."

"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."

"Getting Information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant."

"Users truly don’t know what they want in a program until they use it."

"Symmetry is a complexity-reducing concept (co-routines include subroutines); seek it everywhere."

"Every day were saying, 'How can we keep this customer happy?' How can we get ahead in innovation by doing this, because if we don't, somebody else will."

"In June 1994, while it is still our hobby, we renamed it "yahoo" to stand for "yet another hierarchical officious oracle"."

"The computing field is always in need of new cliches."

"I need to make an okay living. The people who work for us need to. But after you make a comfortable living, how much more do you need? It's like I make a joke about nerd values, because I'm very…"

"Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame."

"Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity."

"It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being."

"Optimization hinders evolution."

"In programming, as in everything else, to be in error is to be reborn."

"Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork."

"I rigged my cellular to send a message to my PDA, which is online with my PC, to get it to activate the voicemail, which sends the message to the inbox of my email, which routes it to the PDA,…"

"There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer."

"A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy."

"Don't have good ideas if you aren't willing to be responsible for them."

"Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhapsonly weigh 1 1/2 tons."

"What boots up must come down."

"The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad!"

"If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan."

"I find sitting at a specially equipped desk in front of some pretty ugly plastics and staring at a little window is a very unnatural event."

"One does not learn computing by using a hand calculator, but one can forget arithmetic."

"The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology."

"Software is under a constant tension. Being symbolic it is arbitrarily perfectible; but also it is arbitrarily changeable."

"Imagine a school with children that can read or write, but with teachers who cannot, and you have a metaphor of the Information Age in which we live."

"All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors."

"Bringing computers into the home won't change either one, but may revitalize the corner saloon."

"The US Nuclear Security Administration runs the Blue Gene supercomputer. It is supposed to be the top super computer in the world ? and it runs on GNU Linux. Of the top 10 super computers in the world, seven run…"

"We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

"Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited."

"Upwards of two hundred species.. mostly of the large, slow-breeding variety.. are becoming extinct here every day because more and more of the earth's carrying capacity is systematically being converted into human carrying capacity. These species are being burnt out,…"

"My understanding is their objective is to increase their capacity for the Internet, search engines. All I know is there's a lot of computers."

"Be nice to geeks when you're in school, you might end-up working for one when you grow-up."

"Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more ‘user-friendly’… Their best approach so far has been to take all the old brochures and stamp the words ‘user-friendly’ on the cover."

"A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God."

"After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy."